You have to fall before you fly
by fandomsruleme88
Summary: Temperance has had a little secret for a long time. She is a self-harmer. Booth finds out and tries to help. With everything she once knew being questioned, how will Tempe deal? I'm pretty bad at summaries and this is my first story. I promise the story is better than the summary. Set sometime early in the show, maybe around season 3?
1. The Calm Before The Storm

**Hi Guys! So this is my first fanific, so sorry if its awful. **

**Trigger Warning: if you have ever self-harmed and this might be considered a trigger please don't read!**

**Unfortunately i don't own bones, just the plot.**

**Enjoy. Reviews are always a nice surprise!**

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Dr. Temperance Brennan sat in her office. It was later at night, only she and the Jeffersonian security guard were left at the building. Tempe was going over the case file of the day, two teenagers found in the park. They were found holding hands, the boy giving his life to protect the girl. She sighed, knowing that she would never have this sort of relationship. Subtle distractions danced through her vision. The thoughts that possessed her soon engulfed her as she became distracted and made mistakes in her work (she never made any mistakes). She knew she needed to refocus. Putting away the file she reached over to the bottom left drawer of the desk. Opening her drawer like she had done so many times in the past she pulled out a small box. These boxes were hidden in many places she frequented, like behind a tile she had so carefully removed in the bathroom in the lab and the one she kept under the sink at home. The contents of these boxes were all the same; a pack of tissues, gauze, medical tape, Band-Aids, and a razor. This ritual had been practiced and perfected many times before, and the amount of scars that littered her arms date back to her high school years. Yes, rational Temperance Brennan was a cutter, but to her this was a version of the perfectly acceptable ritual of bloodletting used to cure melancholy. She brought the small piece of metal to the middle of her forearm, pressing to make a straight horizontal line across her skin. Five more lines soon found their way onto her skin before she sat back to access the damage. Cleaning up was fast and before she knew it she was leaving the lab and heading home. She collapsed on the couch, hungry, but too tired to make a meal. She was trying to process too much again sitting there. Should she go to the bathroom or the kitchen sink and take care of the urges? Would twice in one day be too much? She had never heard of people in her anthropologic studies bloodletting twice in the same day. A knock at her door startled her out of the thoughts. Glancing at the clock she saw it was 12:30 in the morning. "Well, it's ether Booth or a burglar," she thought to herself. Looking through the peephole in her door she swung it open to reveal the handsome FBI agent who happened to be her partner. "Booth! What are you doing here so late?" she questioned.

"I saw you leave the lab really late and I wanted to check and see if you were ok." He said as her stomach growled. "Have you eaten?"

"No" Temperance sighed. "It never crossed my mind."

"Well," said her partner, "I brought some Chinese food, if you're interested" he laughed at her delighted face as he pulled the bag out from behind his back. They sat down in front of the TV and turned on some random channel. After the meal they both fell asleep on the couch, not noticing they were holding hands.


	2. Morning Discoveries

**So... I hope y'all enjoyed my last chapter.**

**Thank you for all the faves and follows.**

**Sorry for the long update time and the short chapter, I promise to post a new chapter every few days; school is such a bother.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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When Booth woke up the next morning he didn't remember why he was in a strange room. Gaining a bit more alertness he remembered the night before. Spying the dirty dishes still sitting on the table he decided to get up and tidy things a bit before Bones woke up. He picked up the dishes and smiled to himself looking at his sleeping partner. As he was washing the dishes quietly he noticed he was out of dish soap. He always kept his hidden from Parker, who liked to use the squirting top to start soap wars, under the kitchen sink. He bent down to search for it.

Meanwhile Tempe had just woken up to the sound of running water and Booth hitting his head under the sink. She smiled to herself thinking about her goofball of a partner. But, as quickly as her smile had appeared, it vanished. Her box! What if he found it! She would be in so much trouble with him if he knew. What she was doing was perfectly rational, but Booth was never as rational as she was. Jerking herself into consciousness she jumped up in time to see Booth before he pulled out of the cabinet with a strange look.

Booth knew Tempe was going to wake up soon. He really wanted to surprise her with clean dishes and a semi-tidy house. There was no dish soap he realized, but there was a small wooden box hidden in the corner. Booth, curious to see why his partner had a box hidden under the sink, opened it to find her kit. At first he thought it was a medical box, but why tissues? He removed the tissues, revealing a razor. He tried to turn to look at her but hit his head on top of the cabinet. How had he not noticed; Temperance always wore long sleeves and pants, even in the warm weather. He had dealt with this type of thing before, so he knew. He knew that Tempe was cutting herself. The thing was he didn't know how to confront her or how to comfort her. She was hurting, and that scared him. But he couldn't risk losing her; he had seen what suicide did to people. It was now or never, he thought as he pulled out of the cabinet. He turned and saw her standing, facing him, with a strange look on her face. "Bones… we need to talk."


	3. Talking to a Glacier

**Heyyyyyyyy guys, did y'all miss me? probably not. Sorry for the long update time, this week has just been crazy and I had a severe case of writer's block. This is my first time and it's just so intense, ya know? idk if its actually any good, but anyway enjoy!**

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Booth did not know what he expected when he said this. Brennan had always been so strong. This was why he was caught off guard when she started sobbing. He strode across the room and she fell into his arms. He pulled them both down onto the couch in a sitting position. "Temperance…"he managed suddenly overcome with emotions.

This startled her and she quickly realized she was in her partner's arms. Brennan slid across the couch and tried to hide her body behind a pillow, unable to meet Booth's eyes.

"Please. You know you can talk to me, just say the word and I'll listen." He said softly.

When she started to speak it was a murmur that Booth had to strain in order to hear. "It helps. It's rational. I promise, I've been doing this for a while. Since my first year in foster care. I haven't cut in a long time but I did two months ago, and it all came back to me."

She couldn't stop herself from saying this. Brennan knew she had to reassure him that it was all going to be ok, and not to make her stop. She had tried that, and it didn't work very well for her. She allowed herself to look up at Booth. He had shifted his eyes toward the phone. "Booth, don't. I'm not getting a therapist or going to the hospital."

He looked up at her with a pained expression. "Tempe," he started, "you are going to get help. Whether you actually go is up to you. But if you don't I will personally tell the squints to come and drag you to a treatment center. Ok?"

"Fine!" she spat, suddenly angry. Booth got up, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Alone after he promised he would never leave her. Why did she always push away? Brennan knew she, even with her vast knowledge, could never answer that. And the urge was back. Booth had threatened her indirectly, and she did NOT want anybody from the Jeffersonian knowing. Well, except Angela, whom she told her secret three years ago. Angela was the reason Brennan kicked the habit for those three years. Therapy was a no-no for her because she had convinced herself that phycology was not an actual science, and she was a woman who solely believed in science. The urges had never come so strong so early in the day. She could usually ignore it. Today felt different though. Something moved out of the corner of her eye. Brennan realized what Booth was doing as she snapped out of her thoughts. He had gone through her bathroom and was currently in her bedroom, searching.

Booth knew where to look. It wasn't hard to find the one in the kitchen, and if he was right, which, when it was about Bones, he always was, she would hide another box or something with an object used to harm herself under the cabinet or in a drawer. He was right and actually found two in the bathroom. "What did she get herself into?" he thought as he walked into her room, pulling open a drawer. he found a box just as he heard the front door of Brennan's apartment slam shut.


End file.
